


The Star Wars Zone

by fishywishing



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Because i am sad, But also not, F/F, F/M, I havent written since may 2017 shittt, I literally watched each movie scene then wrote a bit!!, I wish this fandom had more sw aus but since we dont i wrote one, Kinda crack fic, M/M, On Hiatus, Star Wars AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-01 03:16:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13285821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishywishing/pseuds/fishywishing
Summary: When Prince Taako's ship is taken by the evil overlord John, he sends two unreliable droids to get Barry Bluejeans.  Things never quite go as planned, do they?





	1. Prince Taako And His Subordinates Have A Terrible Day At Work

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, I know this isn't the first Star Wars AU fic we have, but I'd really like to keep mine going on for a while! Leave some nice reviews n stuff if you want!! Thanks so much for reading <3

“Sweet Pan above, did you hear that?”

 

“Davenport!”

 

“They destroyed the main goddamn reactors?  We are gonna _die_.”

 

“Davenport?”

 

“This is too wild for me.  Good lord.”

 

Bureau soldiers ran by the pair of short droids, toting guns and covered in armor, setting up by the ship’s main door.  They aim for the door, preparing for the worst.

 

“We’re doomed Dav.  We’ve done all we can- But there’ll be no escape for the prince this time.”

 

“Da-Davenport.”

 

The massive ship above drew the little one into its hull, making creaking noises.  The soldiers, Merle, and Davenport all look up, like they expect the ship to just be broken in two and gotten over with.  It doesn't.  

 

Suddenly, the door in front of them begins to glow, black fire melting it in seconds. Pitch black shadows pierced with glowing swirls that look striking against the stark white of the ship pour in, overwhelming the bureau soldiers in a matter of seconds. They press onward, one or two falling for every five or six soldiers. The shadowy creatures make it to where Merle and Davenport hid in a small nook in the wall, but the two droids sneak across the way and through another door. They split off in two different directions, and by the time Merle registers Davenport isn't rolling behind him, the smaller droid is out of sight. Merle sighs and begins to run the other way, towards, where he hoped, his partner would be.

 

Through the broken wall, the flow of shadow creatures stops, and John himself steps in. He’s dressed to the nines, in a black suit and cape with colorful cuts twisting through it. His face is unmarred, pasty features in a snarl, short salt and pepper hair slicked back. He looks like a businessman- a very evil one, although, aren’t they all?- had his hands not been full of black fire, and a look of rage hadn’t been so tangible on his face. John and his shadows press forward, looking for any surviving rebel as they go.

-

Taako, long blonde hair tied up in two buns, stands in a darkened hallway, handing a pair of discs to Davenport. “Okay, listen here Dav. These  _ have _ to go to Barry. That dipshit won’t know to help me unless a video of me- God forbid-  _ begging _ for some damn help arrives at his doorstep.  So, ya gotta get this to him, ‘kay?”  Taako bends down to pat Davenport’s head, a nervous look in his eyes despite his usually carefree demeanor.  “He’s our only hope.”  

 

“Davenport?  Hey, Davenport, where are you?”  Merle jogs through the station, looking around anxiously.  A familiar voice rings out. “Davenport!  There ya are, dumbass.  Where have you been?”

 

“Dav...enport?”  The little astromech says awkwardly.

 

Merle glances around, then looks back at Davenport.  “Those shadow things are coming this way.  Oh Pan, we’re gonna be sent to the spice mines of Felicity Wilds.  I’m old!  I have kids!  This isn’t- Where are you  _ going _ ?”

 

Davenport rolls away without a word, towards the restricted area of escape pods.  “Davenport!  Dav!   _ Where are you going?! _ ”   
  


-

 

Shadowy soldiers walk into the main room of Taako’s little ship to see John holding a bureau soldier by the throat.  “Where,” he seethes, “Are the plans?” 

 

The soldier slaps loosely at John’s arms, his eyes half closed and his breath gone. “Pl-Plans?”, he wheezes. “Th-there are no plans here.”  He coughs, eyes closing.  “This is a bureau ship.  This is a- a diplomatic mission.”

 

“If this is a bureau ship, _ where is the ambassador? _ ”  John flings the soldier into the wall and turns to his shadows.  “Tear this ship apart!  Find the Hunger plans, and  _ bring me the commander! _ ”

  
-  
  


The prince wasn’t going to go quietly.  He holds up a wand, one he’d taken off one of his fallen soldier’s body, and aims it towards the group of shadows coming towards his hiding place.  The shadows, all five of them humanoid, gesture to the badly hidden elf gripping a bureau issued wand and frowning.  One shadow lifts its dark sword, but is immediately shot down by Taako.  “Fuck y’all!”, he shouts, and aims at another one.  This shadow whips its mace toward Taako, and he realizes this fight can't be won.  He turns, and runs to the open door behind him, but gets hit full force in the legs and goes down.  “Shit.  Okay.” he mutters.  “I guess we can work with that.”  And everything goes black.

  
-  
  


“What the hell, Dav?  You can’t go in there!”  Merle pulls on Davenport’s antenna, and shakes the tiny robot.  

 

“Davenport!”  The droid says snootily.

 

“Aw, come on, don’t call me that.”

 

Davenport turns his head and looks straight into Merle’s eyes. “Davenport.”

 

Merle frowns.  “What are you talking about?  Secret mission? _Plans?_  Oh Pan, are you _malfunctioning_?  Damn.”

 

“ _ Davenport. _ ”

 

“I’m not getting in there, Dav!”  Merle gestures toward the doors. “Taako’s out there!  We can’t jus-”

 

A flurry of black fire fills the room, and Merle jumps into the escape pod.  “Nevermind, go, go, go!”

 

The pod shoots off just as the shadows reach them.

 

“Are you… Are you sure this is safe?”

 

The robot shifts his parts in a semblance of a shrug, which worried Merle more than if he’d done nothing at all. “Davenport.” 

-

 

The shadows surrounded Taako, shoving him onto his feet.  He groaned, and stood there, noticeably favoring his right leg.  “Ok, that was… really uncalled for.  Whatever, man.  Fuck this, honestly.”

 

One of the taller shadows stepped forward, dwarfing Taako’s already barely average height.  It grabs his arm, stopping his nervous pulling on his dress, and pulls him towards the occupied part of the ship.  Taako dug his heels into the slick floor and leaned back, glaring at the tall shadow.  The shadow pulls back, tripping the prince and making him fall on his face.  “Asshole,” he mutters into the floor, before being picked up by yet another shadow and carried off.

  
-  
  


Meanwhile, Merle and Davenport were having their own troubles.  They’d landed on a deserted planet, and they argue as they crest yet another sandy dune.  “We were made to suffer, Dav, we really were.  Pan forbid I get anything nice these days.”

 

The smaller bot blipped, then said “Davenport!”

 

“We’ve been walking for hours.  Hours!” Merle grumbles.  “And no civilization.  None!  I’m beginning to think that we’re gonna die here!”

 

“Davenport!  Davenport!”

 

“Don’t you get scientific on me.  We’ve been looking for hours and there’s been nothing-”

 

Another blip, a beep.

 

“Well fine.  I’m not walking that way.  Nope.  Have fun dying alone, I guess.”

 

The pair turn from each other and stalk away, Davenport into the rockier hills, Merle into the soft sand.

  
-  
  


John looks at the group of his shadows surrounding the prince.  Though he’s disheveled, he still looks nearly ethereal under the ships fluorescent lights.  “Of course it’s you, it just had to be you,” Taako rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath.  “You know, the senate won’t stand for this.  When they find out-”

 

“Oh please, Prince Taako, everyone here knows you’re not on a diplomatic mission.”  John puts on a fake smile, and on him, it looks downright terrifying.  Taako shrinks back, but then sets his shoulders and stares John down.  “There were several transmissions sent from the rebel commander.”  Taako brightens at the mention of the commander.  “I see you know Lucretia then.  But back to the real question here,  _ where are those plans? _ ”

 

Taako’s mouth curls into a smile.  “Plans?  What plans?  What even is a plan?”

 

“You are part of the rebel bureau, and you know it!”  John looks pissed.  “Where are the plans?!” 

 

“Shadow boy over there!”  Taako points to a dark creature with sharp wings and six legs.  “Do you think I _ look _ like a man who knows what a plan is?”

 

John’s hands flare up, but Taako just smiles and shrugs.

 

“Take him away!  We’ll deal with his insolence later!”

 

Though he’s being dragged by shadowy creatures from hell-or worse- Taako walks with a sense of pride held only by idiots with great plans.

  
-  
  


Davenport rolls through the desert, well aware of his stalkers, but not really knowing what to do about them.   _ I certainly hope Merle is doing okay _ , he thinks,  _ I’m sure he is.   _

  
Merle is  _ not  _ doing okay.  He’s being assaulted by a crowd of tiny hooded figures. “No!  Stop it!” He tries to shove the people away indignantly.  “Leave- Hey, leave me alone!”  He’s pushed around by the huge group, and gets distracted for just long enough to be shoved into an space garbage truck.  


	2. Why Does Lup Have To Deal With This Shit?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup hears a message that isn't meant for her. She also fucks up royally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all have no IDEA how many times one person can spell "bureau" wrong. Thanks to Ryan and autocorrect for saving my ass.

 

“Lup!  Hey Lu-up!”  A high pitched voice calls from the house.

 

“Yeah?” A girl with a fiery red undercut pops through the door.  “What’s up?”

 

Lup’s aunt smiles and pats her shoulder.  _ Stop that, I’m not a baby.   _ “Be a dear and tell your uncle to get a droid that speaks dwarvish, okay?”

 

“Will do!”  Lup jogs off toward where her uncle is bartering with the big group of tiny hooded trash people and relays her aunts message.  

 

_ Her aunt.  Not her Auntie, but certainly a family member.  She’s kind, as is her uncle, but doesn’t seem to like Lup or even try that hard to parent her.  Which is just fine with Lup. _

 

Her uncle inspects the half dozen droids and mechs in a row, asking them questions and seeing if they’re in good condition.  Merle isn’t a very nice robot, but can put on a very sincere act.  He’s also, oddly enough good at enough things for Lup’s uncle to choose him.

 

_ Davenport sees a tall girl run up next to the old man near him, and has to do a double take.  Past the dyed red hair, much shorter than Taako’s, and the two inches, give or take, she has on him, Lup is the striking image of the prince.  He worries for the prince, alone in a ship with John and his shadows. _

 

In the end, Merle and Davenport are lucky enough to end up together.  Lup leads them into the shed and tries to clean them up.

 

“It just isn’t fair,” Lup mourns.

 

“What isn’t fair, sir?”  It pisses Merle off to no end to be polite, but the girl isn’t the worst thing to be nice to.

 

“Sir?  Oh no, you can just call me Lup.”

 

“Okay, Sir Lup.”

 

Lup cringes at this, and stares down Merle.  “Just Lup, _ please _ .”

 

Merle corrects himself.  “Alright Lup.  My apologies.  Most of the ship’s commanders were fine with si-”

 

“Ships commanders?!”  Lup perks up considerably.  “Were you on a battleship?”

 

“Not a battleship, but there…”  Merle is regretting all of his words right now. “Was a battle.”

Lup messes with Davenport’s control panel, trying to clean him up.  “Do you know anything about the rebellion?!”

 

“Certainly!  I worked for-”

 

“Help me, Barry Bluejeans.  You’re my only hoe.  Oh fuck, wait.  No, Davenport, that was a test run-”

 

Merle and Lup lock eyes.

 

The hologram plays again.  “Help me, Barry Bluejeans.  You’re my only hoe.  Oh fuck, wait.  No, Davenport, that was a test run-”

 

Lup blinks and looks down at the hologram.  “Davenport… What does that mean?” 

 

Silence.

 

“Davenport,  _ what the fuck does that mean? _ ” 

 

“Da...ven...port…?”

 

“He says… That… It’s nothing.  Yeah!  Nothing at all.”

 

“Merle?”  The elf turns to the droid with an evil look in her eyes, barely disguised by the fake-as-hell smile on her face.

 

If he could sweat, Merle would be covered in it.  Lup’s gaze is that burning.  “Mmm… Yeah?”

 

“Mm-mm.”

 

“I-”

 

“ _ Mm-mm. _ ”  

 

In a voice absolutely full of fear, Merle replies.  “Okay.”

 

“I don’t know every much about the whole thing, really, the prince-”

 

Lup smiles gently.  “He’s  _ beautiful. _ ”

 

“He looks a lot like you, actually.”

 

“Exactly my point.”

“My partner here,” Merle pats Davenport lightly on the head, “Knows it all, apparently.  He says that if you take the restraining bolt off…”

 

“Oh!  Yeah, of course!  I’ll do that now.  It’s not like a little droid like him can even get that far by itself.”

 

As Lup works to remove the bolt, the hologram plays back in a loop.  The blonde in the hologram repeats his accidental message until she wrenches the piece of metal out of Davenport’s robotic body, cutting off the well dressed idiot.  Lup inspects the bolt, then Davenport, then narrows her eyes.  “Where  _ the fuck _ did he go?”

 

The little droid blips once, satisfied, then goes dark.  Lup isn’t quite as satisfied, and turns to Merle, the evil eyes back once again.  “You don’t mind telling me,” she gritted out, “Where the pretty boy with a message went?”

 

Merle starts to consolidate the seething girl, but is interrupted by her aunt calling “Lu-up!  Dinner!”

 

Lup startles but turns and resumes glaring at Merle, pointing at him with the piece of metal she removed from Davenport, “I’ll be dealing with you two later,” she hisses, getting up from the ground.

 

She walks to the house, where her aunt and uncle are already starting dinner.  Sitting down, Lup sees the food, which is, like usual, bland looking and bland tasting.  “So, Lup, how  _ are _ those new droids your uncle bought? I certainly hope they don’t act up like the other one did last summer.” Lup has intense flashbacks of last summer's Mech Revolution and snorts.  

 

“Nah, they seem fine.  One had a memory card already installed and it played a holo-message from some guy in an ugly dress asking for some guy named Barry Bluejeans or whatever.”

 

“Bluejeans?”  Lup’s uncle considers her words for a few seconds, then exclaims,  “That kinda sounds like the guy who lives in the sand canyons down south!  Griffin Bluepants or something?”

 

“That certainly does sound the same,” her aunt agreed, “But it doesn’t matter now, does it?  We can get the memory wiped tomorrow anyway.  Lup, dearie, could you run it down to the shop by nine?”

 

Lup takes a deep breath, then looks up at her guardians.  “Actually, I was planning on submitting my application to the bureau tomorrow.  It has to be in by ten, so-

 

“Now, I know that you’ve been wanting to join up with them -and you know I don’t approve- but we need to keep you on for just one  _ more season _ ,” Her uncle clears his throat, then continues.  “We both know that your father was involved in a battle with the Bureau, and… And that’s how he died.”

 

Lup’s aunt raises her eyebrows at her husband, but makes no move to stop him.  Lup digs her hands into her pockets and looks down at her barely touched dinner.  “Yeah, okay.  I’ll get the droid to the shop tomorrow.  Sorry.”  And she gets up, pushing through the curtains in place of a door to the outdoors.

  
  
  


As she pushes open the door to the shed, she immediately realizes something is wrong.  And it’s not just the fact that Merle is hiding behind some spare parts in the back.  “O-Oh, hi Lup!  What’s going on?”

 

Lup doesn’t has time for this.  “Where’s the other damn droid, you piece of junk?  He was right there.”

 

“Oth-Other droid?”

 

“Yes.  The one with the dumbass in the hologram and a terrible temper for something that’s supposed to be built to fuckin’ follow orders.”

 

“Well, see, he…”

 

“He what?  What happened now?  What terrible thing has befallen us all?”

 

“He… Aw, Pan, why do I have to tell you?”  Lights flared up in Merle’s eyes.  “You’re kinda an asshole, if I can be honest.”

“You may not be honest, except about where the  _ fuck _ Davenport is.”

 

“He left?”

 

“Well. Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked this chapter?? If you have any cool ideas about what I should do next, hit me up at sapphicshrimp! Leave your opinions and kudoses, and have a wonderful day! Also Griffin Bluepants is the funniest thing I've ever written and it left me and Ry in tears.


	3. Griffin Bluepants Strikes Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and her newfound companion go to find their other newfound companion. Merle loses an arm. Barry falls in love at first sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop I have no idea if this is longer or shorter than the other two? Also today's my last day of break, so updates are gonna get spotty.

Lup doesn’t sleep well that night.  She worries all through it, staring at the moonlit ceiling and fidgeting.   _ If I don’t find that Istus-forsaken droid tomorrow, I’m completely fucked.  Those two asshats are gonna flip when they realize that I’m not responsible enough for a ugly little hunk of metal, let alone responsible enough to go and fight for the bureau.  Although they should probably know that I’m dumb as hell and shouldn’t be trusted with, like, a small rock. _

 

By the time her uncle is up that morning, Lup is gone.  “I don’t know, darling, I think she went to do her chores early,” her aunt says, happy at the fact that her niece could be actually trying to get work done for once.

 

She is  _ not  _ getting work done for once.  She and Merle are searching furiously for Davenport, scanning the dusty plains for  _ anything _ .  “Merle, darling, do you have  _ no idea _ where your junk boy went?”

 

“I hate to say it, but no.  That little asshole is, well, an asshole.  But I suppose we have our one lead.”

 

Lup drops the binoculars from her eyes, staring at Merle.  “The hell you mean, lead?  We don’t have anything to go on.”

 

“The message, idiot.”  Lup only stares at him some more.

 

“Does ‘Help me, Barry Bluejeans.’ strike you in any way as, possibly, a clue?”  Merle can’t help himself now, being a little rude.  They say it’s a design flaw, but Merle thinks it’s a blessing from Pan above, his life-threatening sarcasm.

 

“Oh.”  She snorts, entertained by her own idiocy despite the situation.  “Yeah, I guess.  Maybe.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, lucky for us, I have a very vague idea of where Griffin Bluepants lives.  It’s a dumb enough name to be an alias for some old Jedi.”  Lup points at the rocky canyon ahead of them.  “Unluckily, he lives in there where the sand people live.”

 

The pair get to the canyon with no incident, and Lup spots Davenport’s metal sheen from almost a kilometer away.  “There!”  Merle guns the engine, although ‘guns’ isn’t quite the word.  It’s more of a ‘the ship goes from 20 kph to 27 kph’ than anything.  They glide up to Davenport, who pays them  _ absolutely no mind.   _ “Hey!  Metal fuck-up!”

 

Davenport rolls on.

 

“Hey, buddy, you don’t mind stopping for your old pal, huh?”

 

And he rolls on.

 

Lup gives up on any semblance of niceties and hoists him into her buff-as-fuck arms. “I can’t get into trouble man.  This is the first home I’ve had in a while.  So maybe can you come with me?”

 

Davenport’s wheels, though several feet off the ground, keep rolling.  “I will smash you to bits,” she says, with no trace of humor in her voice.  “You will die at my hands,  _ bud. _ ”

 

This stops the tiny droid in his tracks, not that it helps much, because Merle is stage-whispering “Sandpeople!  We’re gonna die!  Sandpeople!”, like Lup didn’t see a group of eight approaching the trio in plain sight.

 

“Wonderful!  Just great!”   Lup hefts the rake she grabbed from the shed before leaving.  “Shall we?”

 

Lup’s strong, she really is.  After working three years on a farm, and odd jobs for years before, she’s stronger than she looks, and she looks pretty buff.  That said, eight creepy scavengers versus one Lup wasn’t fair.  She goes down in a few minutes, her head fuzzy and her balance completely gone.  

 

Davenport, the coward, hides in the rocks, doing the robot version of praying to any god out there, please, I don’t deserve to die, it’s mean, etcetera.  Lup is getting her ass kicked- Well,  _ got _ her ass kicked.  She was kind of Davenport’s only defense, and the fact that she was now on the ground, bleeding a little from her forehead, was not a good thing.  

 

Merle really thinks they’re done for.  He’s on the ground too, although, being small, heavy, stubby, and an overall useless fighter, he decided that it isn’t his fault.  As the sandpeople scavenge Lup’s hovercar, he rolls around, trying to get up.  He knows he couldn’t be much help, but Lup had tried to  _ protect  _ him.  Which wasn’t something people did often.  But, in the end, Merle decides they were done for.  They would die out here in the hot sand.  They would-

 

Just then, a short, out of breath figure runs out of the scraggly bushes, yelling “Wooooo!!  Wooooooo!  Run away, cowards!  That’s right!”

 

The sandpeople abscond, leaving a slightly messed up, but entirely functional, hovercar.  Lup flips them off weakly as they run, leaving a trail of dust.

The hooded figure runs up to Lup, his hood flying off his head.  “A-Are you okay?  Can you hear me?”

 

Nodding, Lup pushes herself up into a sitting position.  “Are you…  Sorry, thank you for scaring those fucks away.”  She smiles.  And it’s the prettiest thing Barry Bluejeans has ever seen.

 

“I’m Ba- I mean, I’m Griffin.”  He’s a bad liar, he knows it, but maybe he can fool her?  Those pretty eyes say no.  “And I’m sorry I couldn’t get here earlier.  I’ve been meaning to find a way to get them to leave people alone.”

 

“It’s… It’s nothing.  Sorry to get in your way.  Griffin Bluepants, hm?  You’re the hermit who lives out here?  I kind of expected you to be old and wrinkled, not…” She trails off, face reddening slightly.

 

The guy smiles and chuckles awkwardly, “I guess I’m not your stereotypical hermit, am I?”, which causes Lup to burst into laughter, only to hiss and press a hand to her forehead in pain.

 

“Oh geez.  Maybe we should go back to my house?  I have medical shit there, and I think your droid,” he points to Merle, “Is a little dinged up.”

 

“Y-Yeah… Wait a second!  Merle!”  Lup jumps up, wobbles for a few steps, but jogs over to Merle, who’s laying on the ground, with an arm ripped off.  Wires and inner components are exposed, and his lights are weakly pulsing. 

 

“What happened?  Did you beat the sandpeople, kiddo?”

 

“No, but this guy here screamed and they ran.”

 

“That makes it seem way less heroic than it is.”

 

“It wasn’t very heroic in the start.”  Lup sticks her tongue out at him.  “Merle, are you good?  Can you walk?”

 

“No.  Leave without me.”

 

“You lost an arm, dumbass.”

 

“I’m dying.  Goodbye, kid.  See you on the other side.”

 

“You’re a-”

 

“Goodbye.  I’m dead now.”

 

“Get up, old man.”

 

Lup frowns, and looks at the guy who calls himself Griffin.  “Are you Barry Bluejeans?”

 

“B-Barry Bluejeans?  Wh-” 

 

“Okay, cool, you are.  This is your droid, right?”

 

Barry gives Lup a half smile, and then hoists Merle into his stick arms.  “Istus, you’re smart.  Yes, I am Barry Bluejeans, but I’ve never owned a droid in my life.”

 

“There’s a message in it for you, but  _ Davenport here  _ won’t play it.”

 

“I see.  Then let’s see if we can get him to play it back my my house, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

  
  
  
  
  


The four hurry back to Barry’s house as the two suns in the sky start to descend.  They sit down in his front room, which has about 2.3 chairs, the .3 being a two legged stool on its side and slightly charred.  Lup tries her all to get Merle’s arm back on, but it doesn’t quite work.  After 15 minutes of trying to put it back it, she gives up and leans back on Barry’s sofa.  “Oh well,” she says, “He’s a little bitch anyways.”

 

Barry snorts, Davenport beeps amusedly, and Merle kind of growls.  It’s good natured though, and all it does is make the other three laugh harder.  

 

“So,” Lup lightly punches Davenport. “Let’s see this message!”

 

Barry’d been messing with the robot for the last few minutes, and right after Lup’s words, the pretty boy that looked  _ just like Lup _ popped back up.  

 

_ “So, listen boo, I had some… Important info, right?  But, like the  _ complete dickhead _ he always is, John showed up.  So I need you to get this droid- Oh yeah, I put the info in the droid, by the way, Istus that sounds sexual, ew- I need you to get him to Neverwinter.  Give it to Lucretia, ‘kay?  Thanks.  Oh also my ship was kiiiinda taken over and I’m not actually sure if this message is gonna be intercepted but, like, you know,  _ whatever. _  So, help me, Barry Bluejeans.  You’re my only hoe.  Oh fuck, wait.  No, Davenport, that was a test run-” _

 

“He gets distracted  _ really _ easy.”

“That he does.  From what I’ve seen of him, that’s kind of his whole M.O.”

 

Lup leans back in the chair, sighing loudly.  “So, what are you gonna do?”

 

“Go to Neverwinter, I suppose.  But I think the real question is, what are you going to do?  You have two droids on John’s bounty list.  I bet he’ll send some people to retrieve them.”

 

“What?  How would they- Oh, Istus, they’re gonna go to my aunt and uncle’s house, aren’t they?”  Lup looks worried, but makes no move to get up.  “Yeah, not a very important question.  Back to you!  Let me join you.  I’m really bored, Barry.”

 

“You’re… Not going to worry about them?”

 

“Nope, they don’t really know anything.  I’d kinda feel bad if they died, but there’s not much of a plausible chance.”

 

Now it’s Barry’s turn to look worried.  “It actually… Is kinda plausible.”

 

“Well damn.”

 

“I think I’ve got an idea.  I’ve got something for you, Lup.”

 

Lup chews on a fingernail.  “What’s that?”

  
“This is a lightsaber.  We’re gonna rescue your relatives  _ and  _ go to Neverwinter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all thanks for your support!! I really don't like my writing but hearing good things from you guys really warms my heart. Hit me up at sapphicshrimp on tumblr.hell, and have a rad day!

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up at sapphicshrimp on tumblr, and leave ur thoughts and kudoses below!!


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